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    Polyamory/Ethical Non-Monogamy

    There are many ways to have personal relationships and it is a valid possibility to be ethically polyamorous or non-monogamous. A healthy open relationship model consists of honestly engaging in multiple romantic or relationship connections that are consensual and overtly communicated. Despite polyamory and non-monogamy being viable models that you can integrate into your life in healthy ways, “…the romantic ideal of the monogamous couple has mostly stayed in tact as the dominant model for love and relationships. Well, at least on the surface. The divorce rate in the US is at 40 to 50 percent, and an estimated 30 to 60 percent of married men and 20 to 50 percent of married women in the United States admit to cheating on their partners. [Esther] Perel reminds us that there is plenty of evidence that the monogamous model doesn’t necessarily work, with many people endorsing a proclaimed monogamy, while actually performing a clandestine monogamy,” (Jessica Fern in polysecure: Attachment, Trauma, and Consensual Nonmonogamy, page 102).

    In non-monogamous relationships, as with other relationships models, it is important to cultivate secure functioning with partners. Because non-monogamy has not been widely accepted in our culture, there are very few public examples for people to witness and observe the healthy functioning of these kinds of relationships. There is no “status quo” for non-monogamous relationships and living this way requires a unique approach to communication and emotional health, as compared to those living monogamously.

    Not all therapists are equipped to work with people in non-monogamous relationships, simply because they do not have the understanding and education. Unfortunately, some therapists even play a part in the stigma placed upon non-monogamous people. The monogamous cultural narrative can have a strong impact, even for clinicians, unless someone has an open mind and a strong desire to learn.

    I am passionate about helping clients to cultivate healthy non-monogamous relationships. If you are polyamorous, non-monogamous or if you are curious about exploring this relationship model for yourself, I can help you manage the unique dynamics present within non-monogamy and polyamory. I can assist you in learning more about your own relationship personality, to learn the healthiest communication skills, and help you to address any challenging emotional experiences that may arise for you along the way.